I Figured Out The Exact Day That Pete Carroll Sold His Soul To The Devil

This is not a tongue-in-cheek way of saying that he's on a hot streak. Everybody knows he's on a hot streak. What people might not know about is how outrageously PC's life turned around on October 21, 2001. After getting fired by the Jets, fired by the Patriots, and starting off at USC with a 2-5 record, Carroll did the only thing he could do to save his coaching career: made a deal with the Dark Lord. Too much awesome shit has happened to this guy for any rational person to brush it off as a coincidence. After a loss on October 20, 2001, Peter Carroll's life took an insanely awesome turn that is completely, absolutely, inexplicable.

Let's go back in time. On October 20,2001, Carroll's Trojans lost to the Notre Dame Murderers 27-16. That sent their team to 2-5 on the year with losses to Washington, Stanford, Oregon and K State. He was staring down the barrel of another firing and going home to his wife and getting back in the unemployment line again. Then he wakes up on October 21st, has an offer from Bealzebub, mulls it over for awhile, then reluctantly accepts. Hopefully, it was more of an Elizabeth Hurley from Bedazzled sort of Satanic luring, but only one person can really ever know.

Anyway.

Since then: SC goes 74-4 for the rest of his collegiate career. He gets Carson Palmer. He has the Reggie Bush/Matt Leinart machine that literally looked like a high school team playing against pop warner 12 year olds. I mean for Christ's sake he made Mark Sanchez look like a good quarterback. The Heismans, the national championship, getting voted the best college football team of the decade, the list goes on: all facilitated by Satan. I mean, you guys remember how stupid good Reggie Bush was in college right?

Oh, the NCAA sanctions? Let me put you on hold for a second - Hey USC I resign Bye

Now, at Seattle, he has a ProBowl QB and [arguably] the best defense in the league. How did he build all of this? With top draft picks and high profile trades and mega-contracts right? Wrong, WRONG.

Russell Wilson, Third Round 2012
Richard Sherman, Fifth Round 2011
KJ Wright, Fourth Round 2011
Kam Chancellor, Fifth Round 2010
Byron Maxwell, Sixth Round 2011

Every single one of these guys are ProBowl caliber players [maybe with the exception of Maxwell] and they were all found after every other team had passed them over 4 or 5 times. Now, they will most likely win a SuperBowl with him. There is absolutely no rational explanation for Russell Wilson being this good. None.

RICHARD SHERMAN, FIFTH ROUND DRAFT PICK

Oh and by the way, you think this whole 12th Man thing is a coincidence? Nary. Demonic powers summoning decibels straight to the top.

Carroll pre Oct.21: sucks. Post Oct. 21: crushing life, the NFL, and winning the football lottery 15 times. Think about it.